i barter

i barter
for kinds words
to replace eye flutters of time
i weigh honeyed moments against tense trips of the tongue
i curb the welling of dissatisfaction
of not having more of what you give me when you can
though knowing even that doesn’t make me any more humble
i demand what i sometimes wonder at
holding it at arm’s length with mildly disguised scrutiny
but all the same not wanting to let go
as i scoff away your rush-inducing words
as i shudder away your too close touch
only my words betray me

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