frustration and words that are just not nice to say
all crammed down my throat
you swallow your replies and clear your throat of burgeoning sighs
and ask what is the matter?
where do i start? where do i even begin to tell you?
i bite my lip and suck in all the rant
leaving only a weakened wrung out whisper of “i miss you”
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A counselor once told me when you don’t say how you feel, you are not being your true self and others can not know who you really are. I have tried since -to be more honest, but it is not easy. I wonder if anyone can ever truly be themselves.
I feel the same way Clara…but at the same time I fall into the trap of avoiding conflict…
Glad to stop over again. Have missed reading your work. Life as of late has kept me away from some of things I’ve missed like reading great poetry! These lines are powerful:
“frustration and words that are just not nice to say
all crammed down your throat
you swallow your replies”
Thanks for sharing. Wishing you peace and healing. I know what it is like to have your soul torn apart. xoxoxo
Pamela so good to hear from you…thank you for your wishes…
Awh, well it has been a pleasure to be back a bit. xoxoxo
It is strange the things we keep in sometimes. Sometimes we think if we let them out everything will unravel when actually sometimes holding it in makes things much worse. But even when we are right to hold in our thoughts it can be so agonizing…
it does make things worst….but i find it’s easier to share your feelings face to face because you can say what’s bitter…but soothe with touch and hold on to someone….where else an email can be unanswered, a phone call can be cut.
Face to face is a lot harder for some and a lot easier for others when you do not want to share something but you feel you should. I have found face to face talk is always better with women (giant generalization warning!) because they tend to freak out when they can’t see your non-verbal cues.
But gross generalizations aside (which can be horribly inaccurate even if they match your experience) I have always liked face-to-face sharing better myself. I think it is because I don’t really think it is healthy to be separated from the force of things… and e-mails and phone calls are layers of separation.
I’ve always will respect those who can say it like it is…i feel it’s a sign of respect when someone can tell you the truth as it is…it may not be what I want to hear but that I know it’s the closest I will get of the truth makes the struggle to accept it more nobler if not easier somehow….