You steep yourself in joy
The moments warmly melt together
Until your smile clicks into automode
And you realize there’s only so much of another’s joy you can handle when you are hurting inside.
Their joy gushes forth and
envelopes your willing heart
but it makes the sinkhole larger…
It makes the hole gnaw away faster
making its gaping maw even larger
you helplessly taste the bitter tinge of woe mix with the sweetness of the time
Your conscience flails in the viscose goo of regret…
And you steel yourself against the tears that prick you with insistence
Because it horrifies you that
you could ever besmirch their rightful joy.
intotheindigo 