Coming to Terms

I’m coming to terms with impermanence.

The fleeing moments of joy and secret smiles I will thoroughly enjoy.

Even though i know they will disappear just as quickly as I exhale in relief.

I will find happiness in the little you give me even as I dismay at its evanescence.

This is all I seem to receive and so I must relish what moments of bliss and peace I’m allotted.

I will forever fall for your ruses of surety… But I will learn to cherish them more.

Learning

The best way to learn how not to settle.. Is to settle…and learn the hard way how it is to keep yourself imprisoned and turning away the voices you trust.

Keeping your unhappiness a secret from those who love you.

Feeling not heard, not respected, not loved.

Feeling like you’ve lost control of your mind, your confidence, your essence.

That is the way i learned anyhow.

And that may very well be the only way to learn or it may be the only way i learned not to want to ever make that mistake again.

A good reason

Not having things fall into place

Is no reason to settle.

Not getting what you deserve

Is no reason to settle.

Feeling like you’re the only one

Is no reason to settle.

Wanting to start

Is no reason to settle.

There is never a good reason to settle.

Seeing reason

What darkness must cross our mind when we are wished learning that we did not ask for….

When we are told everything happens for a reason.

And that reasons unknown will one day reveal.

What I feel we reason to keep our sanity from fleeing…

Reasons we learn to see to quiet the pain that keeps wailing that this is not fair

Why do we lose those we come to love so dear?

Until then

I stand before you empty but willing to give what you have lost.

I do not see the meaning in holding fast to what i will not be.

I rather see that joy you have lost, regained.

I pray that you and your desires are destined to meet.

I pray that your sorrow though deep leaves you with healed scars and not raw wounds.

I pray that you are not blind to the love that surrounds you.

And that you reach out when you need to.

I pray that your struggles now are only a precursor to unbelievable joy.

I will pray that for you until it becomes Truth.

Incredulous

Some people fervently convince you

From the get go,

That they’ll be there,

Forever & always.

And though you find it incredulous,

The incredulity eventually wears away…

And you find yourself believing.

And yet the truth lies within those who are there to hold you when you find out what was spoken were mere words.

Remind me

Sometimes i fear i simply should not be like me…

There’s something i do in being me

That just seems to mean

This person is kind, caring, loving, funny, intelligent, pretty but still not worthy.

Somehow not ever worthy enough.

So I’ve decided to be me.

And realize I’m worthy enough for me and those who care to see it.

Remind me though, when the world makes me forget.

Granted wish

Today you me granted a wish

One i never wished for

But still needed

To finally see things as they are.

I saw you without grace

The gloss, the glory, the praise…

And i realised it was all my doing…

Me who believed in you when you didn’t.

But also me who picked the pieces of myself when you let go…