Covid thoughts

I cannot fathom numbers…. the larger they are the more meaningless is my scope of their enormity…. and yet each and every one is not a number…. it’s a being that once existed as unique and as precious as hopefully loved as they crowd bewildered in what awaits after…

Covid thoughts

Survival of the fittest you smirk. Unmasking, untameable, a rebel without a valid thought you are, and there’s more of you thinking of only you..

And how cruel is existence that you flouting restrictions, scoffing at science, saunter asymptomatic and wreck havoc on others who love you and will suffer and die for it.

Here you are finally

And here you are my darling with all your unabashed love, your yearnings, your affirmations, your wit and chuckles, your passion and your patience, your wary steps and heartfelt leaps, you frame all my days and seep into my dreams, you win my heart over and over inspiring me to give once again without fear.

Covid thoughts

This is not what I meant by coming all together… it has only caused us distance all around and within, a stealing of life, a theft of time, a struggle of sanity, a daily encounter with fear, anxiety rules all Supreme and we wait… as we fear there’s is no ending… but that this is a beginning that we never wanted..

Covid justified

You didn’t listen.

She feels justified in her punishments, the starvation hears no yearnings.

You didn’t abide.

You scoffed, ignoring her steadily aimed words… her stunted pleas for obedience.

And now she suffers you in cruel silence… you don’t exist, she cannot stand to acknowledge you.

You are selfish and stupid and stubborn and useless and worthless…

And yet you have only gone your own way… you live life within confines but you live because you need to do it this way.

I see the curiosity in your eyes as I fidget over that feeling.

That feeling we’ve come to adorn with hearts and in modernity do not confuse with desire. For desire has its own needs however fleeting. And that feeling has lost its permanence… we know it can change, it can grow or it can fade and stop and fool. Its power though still lies in the expectations of its declaration. I know the grounding of those words that i naiively believed could not be uttered unless felt.

I know not nor maybe never will the time, the essence, that overwhelming thirst to share that feeling aloud. I do not know if I fear the silent reply or the words that will echo mine…. what if I simply change my mind once I say it out loud?

Moral contagion

I know her and sense all the reasons why she wants to wander… her frustrations, her isolation, her stifled soul and the deafening inner voices that torment her upon the minute silence.

But also maybe because she’s so afar and I soften at her distant actions…I sleep fitfully knowing she’s perhaps very contagious and nonetheless it seems fair to her that infected her must carry it to others when only conscience lies meekly in her path.

Spring’s Hearld

Spring’s Hearld”

Spring’s feathered herald

pecks furtively at the frozen’d ground

urging worms far nestled below

who refuse to venture out

and greet the bitter rain.

His red-dulled breast

heavy-drenched

with water disguised as ice.

II

She found last night

among the howling winds

that her chickling

had become an egg once more

curled into a downy, frail ball

yet no more warm

now more silent than ever.

III

Two quivering robins

huddle over their branch-bare nest

their warbles lost in the pelting hail

not a peep escapes from their hatchlings