A fatal brush

The ants continue to swarm
colluding, confiding
in whatever it is that’s rotting.

Something still awaits to
announce itself
its stench is lost to me.

Do they know of their doom?

of the broom that looms?

their scattered demise in one fall swoop?

A fatal brush,
A bristled death.
I look away
let them crawl away
let their beady bodies
cluster in writhing clues.

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Don’t wait

I waited

Until your reasons sounded like excuses

I waited

With new hope for us and our lives

I waited

For you to cross your hurdles until they became the ones you created

I waited

Unwaveringly suffering from how i was the one impeding us

I waited

Wholeheartedly defending you, protecting you from all my concerns

I waited

Enclosing myself in anxiety, hiding away from reality, my instincts, my gut all screaming something’s wrong

I waited

Never letting anyone in so they wouldn’t know what we were going through because i thought you were fragile

I waited through it all

And got nothing in return

I waited until

I felt like the world was against us

But then admitted to myself

That it was only you against us.

And now I’m here.

Full of regret for being

so blind,

so insecure,

so naive,

so believing,

so in denial,

But a tiny part of me is still waiting

For you to want to prove I’m wrong

So how f***ed is that?

Afterfight

That limbo awkwardness
After a nasty fight
Where though you’ve
Sorted it out
The angry words still echo
The intensity still lingers
The tension refuses to slack off
And so you both trudge on
More polite and apologetic
Wishing for the warmth that
You had basked in before
Wondering when will this be forgotten?
When will this dissipate?
When will this be that insignificant grey cloud that lingered too long
And obscured the rainbow
Before its brilliance shone through.

unknown

there is a yearnful parting
that never came to be

we search for it without notice
whether or not an illusion

never knowing if each met
will ever be the ONE

as understudys eager to be betrayed as us.

two strangers never encountered
convinced they will know:
innately, irrevocably

and as they contemplate thus
seemingly guaranteed in deed

each pass the other
remaining one less unknown.

missed much-es

of tender touches

and shyly missed much-es

of reliving

smile-tugging memory patches

of remembering

sweet brushes

of awaiting

anticipated

bated breath catches

and creating

scenes

drenched

with wanting

new and known

to be awakened

in reality

 

 

voiced

i hear your voice

that off key humming

that soft yet deep toned

murmuring

that distinct chuckle

that sweet nothing filled echo

 

i strain to hear you

to make it real

to place it in my time

but just as always

you go silent

sensing you have

come too near

what keeps you away?

 

 

you know i await

that fated chance

not promised

no, not at all

but dreamt of

and longed for

but thought of

and prayed for

and kept

within my

wounded self

to give the

emptiness

some company

The coincidence

Coincidence shall i believe in your incidence?

i cannot refrain
from quietly wondering
at what a hope-tinged mystery you remain…

Your haloed appearance
beckons so kindly..
and i attempt with gradual bravery
to delight in your happy providence…

are You
a sign revealed?
a prayer heard?
a moment blessed?
a door newly opened?
or a window letting
in a light from up above?

a little chance perhaps
to close my eyes…
to open my heart…
and surround myself
in Your sweet
and much awaited
embrace