i’m afraid of leaving
and leading alone
following that Freedom
that encompasses
everything that i want
but seems the
farthest away from my grasp.
Courage urges me on
and Fear remains elusive
Guidance comes and goes
yet the vast unknown
overshadows my faltering steps
as i stumble after Chance.
what a waste
disgrace embraced
touched the top
wary of the rock bottom
yet here i lie in limbo…
…slowly dying within
suffocation always reveals the coward in you
instead of giving in
you run full circle
back to the miserable beginning
contemplate release
relish in its reason
its space
its
breeze
contemplate inaction
as you wade shamefully
through
defeated
fate
Hell awaits yet another of your stumbling blind journeys.
I await
that heavy handed caress
the earth’s vengeful finesse.
the oblivion i embrace
majestic and all consuming
magnificent when beheld
magnanimous with its tremendous power…
let me have
that thirst to survive
that willful instinctive frenzy
that one last
valiant attempt to breathe…
and wanting to breathe.
the minute
fading
the bit by bit
wearing
tearing
only makes
the rented holes
larger
yet brings
you no way
nearer to its
edge…
it remains
yawning ever wider
but only gnaws and nibbles away…
remaining above all else:
guiltless.
intotheindigo 