leading alone

i’m afraid of leaving

and leading alone

following that Freedom

that encompasses

everything that i want

but seems the

farthest away from my grasp.

Courage urges me on

and Fear remains elusive

Guidance comes and goes

yet the vast unknown

overshadows my faltering steps

as i stumble after Chance.

what a waste

what a waste
disgrace embraced

touched the top
wary of the rock bottom
yet here i lie in limbo…
…slowly dying within

suffocation always reveals the coward in you
instead of giving in
you run full circle
back to the miserable beginning

contemplate release
relish in its reason

its                            space

its

     breeze

contemplate inaction
as you wade shamefully
through
defeated
fate

Hell awaits yet another of your stumbling blind journeys.

Who knows of the blind one’s dream?

I await
that heavy handed caress
the earth’s vengeful finesse.

the oblivion i embrace
majestic and all consuming
magnificent when beheld
magnanimous with its tremendous power…

let me have
that thirst to survive
that willful instinctive frenzy
that one last
valiant attempt to breathe…
and wanting to breathe.

the minute
fading
the bit by bit
wearing
tearing
only makes
the rented holes
larger
yet brings
you no way
nearer to its
edge…

it remains
yawning ever wider
but only gnaws and nibbles away…

remaining above all else:
guiltless.