Truth once told me

Truth once told me
that Uncertainty
will one day kill me.

So off I set to find Un-C
yet upon meeting him
I could only blame Stress.

Stress addled and full of bile
haughtily stalked towards me
and after a few choice words
told me to go accuse Denial.

Denial of course was always near
I tried as much as I could to look him in the eye
but behind Denial stood Fear. 

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solemn busker

Solemn busker
Will you ever be nearer to me
Than you are with your wistful violin?
How else could you ever dare?
How else could I ever bare?
How else could this be?
Do not act as if it is only I who deceive.
It is only music after all
Played better by hands less grimely-worn than yours
Yet to rest a finger upon the violin’s rest….
Am I as agitating as the poverty that demeans you before me?
Do you ever hope that the thrown coins
fall from a closely distance?
that my smile is not only for your tune?
I know you play “Ave Maria”
Only for me
Though badly
Do you ever escape into an imagined embrace
Of course you would
For I should never admit
That I do.

budding’s cry

journey to the innocence
of a budding’s tired cry
music to the ear
that softly forgets
what fate it has set forth
what death will take
because he has more heart
than that which moves to see
what pleasure more, stays now distracted

upon those who gaze
on all that is yet to be known
clouding what is known
and does not live
in our lives
if not named

cherried

Note: I wrote this years ago…I want to change it, but I don’t know what exactly I want to change, so I have left it as it is, and perhaps my muse will relent…

 

she sat clumsily against the grimy brick wall
staring straight ahead to avoid my sharp glance
her hair lay greasy and plastered to her face
dark and congealed like tarrish glue
lazily her hand lay open to catch the piercing needles from above
sighing i sat aside her
defiant to remain as wordless as she
to stay still as icyness wetted my clothes
even as the torrent of freezy drops
snaked down my goose-pimpled neck
she lay her head calmly upon numb shoulder
and slid heavily into sitter’s lap
upon her flustered face
stared two crimson-stained eyes
cheeks a blush
lips parted in scarlet
hued tears had lay upon eyelashes
and run rivulets upon her rosy-pale face
cherried were her hands
all sticky with sweet iron scent
she lay there refusing to utter a word more
almost but never….no never her…almost less a little of life
she lay in my drizzle laden arms
drenched in rain and red…

Found out…

I have been found out…

pathetic there i stand too defeated to even try to remember

how upright i stood.

How every one of your innocent encouragements were in vain

nothing was to match my ego

revelling in all its undeserved glory.

The extent of your pity stings me, needles me, rips me apart

how cruel that this pain is not rescuingly fatal

it stays so that i must endure your forced praise.

Every bit of expectation and attention

that which let me gloat

and simper in all smugness

now causes to wrench slowly the very heart that burst with pride.

Your eyes too deep they are

they see too much in me…

i cannot stand how they enter and see
yet fail to acknowledge

but acknowledged it stays
within the very wavering of your glance

The very silence that falls when you ask and i stay soundless

soundless so that you may hear the screams of humiliation that rack me within

as you continue to wipe away tears that i cannot touch

let its vain salt burn the very face that is unable to utter Truth.