Losing

i often think that i am asking you the inconceivable…

Something so unique, so far from , something nearly unfathomable…

And yet i see it all around me. And it hurts that i ask for something so mundane and yet it remains elusive.

i am no fool to think it will last if i ever was granted what i want…. But at least i could be grateful that i had it at all.

They say: “Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”

But how am i still losing what i never had?

Be Merciful…I beg

Why do you so cruelly

Keep away

What you planted in my heart

So very long ago?

You made me hopeful,

You made me deserving,

You made me want.

But you found some

Deep and constant satisfaction

In breaking me apart.

Why do you show me how easily

You give to others.

How fully, abundant and beautiful

You allow their Love to be.

Every yearning part of me

Prays that you will not

Find so much joy

In my misery,

Find so much rapture

In my lonliness,

Find so much glee

In my sorrow,

Find so much mirth

In my pain.

Why do you deprive me?