yet it seems all too blurred by
and though the elation caught
in snatches and relief-laden smiles
i feel again swept up
by the tide
its roiling cobalt crests
wait in kind to wash and strew
the shore of my weary laden mind
a manic’s playground is my mind
entrapped within a jungle gym of ludicrous joy
buried deep within the soiled sands of plunging sorrow
an unbalanced act atop the high top
the too quick and slick descent of my sanity upon the slide
the cloying sweet-rancid smell of the tire swing
as i hold tight
sickened-spinning-dizzy from deciphering what’s real what’s not
all that i mind
and yet you ask
as i continue
that which you know
will never be true
hot and newly wrought
failing to melt my resolve
to keep gathering the shards of my foolish hope
a shared denial
sweet and quietly treacherous
on the edge -precarious
each ready with a protest
each steeling for the impending goodbye
waiting for the other
to be “the bad guy”
a shallow feeling ferments
sight a contemptuous slit
smileless lines align to enclose
a sharply curling serpent worm.
You know what would be good right now?
Yeah, an end.
so i have to never
contemplate all the misery spent
on thinking how much longer?
how much longer?
until i finish appeasing
the baleful twisted victors…
until finally someone admits
the foundation’s breaking…
I must be buried alive
fully rotting already
feed upon the very hate that
seeps from my inescapable trap.
endless melodies melt into me…leave your trace…i beg of
you…leave an embrace
soul leave me without myself
bliss lift me into clouds as tears trickle me down me
breath flows to breathe words that will never be heard
don’t say it…notaword….not….a….word.
i know you felt it as i…
needling Silence stifles struggling Reason
Fury sees its chance to unfurl
Wrath sees its path cleared
Rage becomes reborn.
is there ever
a day that goes by
that tears do not fall from the burdened eye?
A stony front
to seal its bleeding cracks.
no words are spoken without full thought, or so pretense vainly suggests.
mute yet struggling
astute yet mumbling
trying yet fumbling
to be heard.