Pain

When you’re in pain

It’s hard not to think of an end

It’s hard not to think of an off

But to do so is human

Yet seeing it through is not a really a fair choice

So much fear, so much doubt, so much so to think of just getting an out..

If it were… though… how many of us would stay the course?

How many of us stay to see a little more with a little less each time?

In vain

Trying in vain
to make a polygon
out of plasticine…

i try to make a
head out of a tail
yet all i see is a circle

i float up steps
that lead to
no nearer
to the edge
yet no further
from falling

i follow a line
disguised as a
dot and for some
reason i know
i’ve come to the
end of a beginning

caesura

it’s repetitive yes

rhythmic and thrumming

undulatingly slow

or thumpingly fast

and muted

yes

but i dont seem to care anyhow

i can only convince you

of what you want to believe

life is a timed waltz

yet you’ll never know

when it

meets its defeat

that elusive beat

that keeps thudding on

one day for some reason or other

decides it’s out of tune

or too played out too

and never wants to hear its music again

leaving you in disharmony

or worse

silence.

ender

an ender should not dread the end

reaper of all, you sowed once too

a guide for the died

what fear is there

for the destined real?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you will be summoned

you will appear

be drawn to my wavering soul

suspended above my shallow shell

and dear death

once ago

and once again

 become

enfleshed

a shallow feeling

a shallow feeling ferments
sight a contemptuous slit
smileless lines align to enclose
a sharply curling serpent worm.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You know what would be good right now?
An end.
Yeah, an end.
so i have to never
contemplate all the misery spent
on thinking how much longer?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
how much longer?

until i finish appeasing
the baleful twisted victors…

until finally someone admits
the foundation’s breaking…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I must be buried alive
fully rotting already
feed upon the very hate that
seeps from my inescapable trap.

everloving i

Everloving I:
beg among the multitude,
but you are darkness-fair,
to give but kingly precious few…
an essence of alms
to sustain the pleader more.
 
In my wounded soul:
I have placed you piercing deep,
yet still you wander…
still my heart do reap.
 
I will breathe the very air:
that you will move to form,
the words of change.

And there I will:
part my lips,
to sigh…to seal
and cry with my soul
returned

to ask still why I will ever
yearn.