will i?

i feel the edge threatening to crumble off

asking what will i do when my feet touch air?

will i reach for land or will i leap?

i feel my being breaking apart inside

asking will i give up or harden?

will i reach up or will i fall down?

i feel my heart letting go

asking will i trust it again

or will i just let it rot and bloat?

will i let it soar again or pin it to its place?

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gather the visions

gather the visions, that have not come true
do not let them scatter
they will only sneak in later
ready to inflate and flatter
what is not possible.

gather the dreams, all broken and torn
do not let them fly
they will only land later
and once again pry.

gather the lies, all found and spoken
do not let even one survive
they will only bleed in later
ready to further deprive.

gather all the loves forsaken
do not let them stay
they will only linger and linger
waiting to betray.

expectations

at times when i forgo my need of happiness,
i am ushered unknown into a knowledge of being fully blessed…
that i have two friends who freely come and go as my foes,
for i know that these two love me with all their hearts
and dishearten only of what i fail to learn and know.
their guidance strong,
my freedom entrusted.
their love unconditional,
my opportunities made unlimited.

their depthless understanding and efforts,
to the follies and foolishness,
that i have met.

their ever-reaching dreams,
that reach my heart

but not realization.
brought up in perfection
but caught up in illusion.

meant

tainted thine typed out tryings
verbage together litter a page
what more is there but lesser whats
riffled through and written out

as rejected
over confidence over
rhythm somewhere lost
devices to lie have proven true in their bitter lies
meaning yet means to change
to whatever it meant to matter