Waiting to know

I write mindlessly
Not knowing what i want to mean
Not knowing what I’m supposed to want
I reach out to no one
And feel no one needing me
But that’s not true
Everyone needs to not hear
Me out of chorus
Out of tune
Out of order
Out of sense
And searching for my own understanding
Because no one knows how long that could take
And who but i…if even i come to know…
Know what i really need to know?