the greatest curse that befell the weak is
the inability to stay well…
the inability to control the pain within.
the inability to depend on oneself to heal.
the inability to live through life without wishing it away…
it is the seizure of the form that houses still what wishes to thrive.
it is the suffocation of the very movement that allows air.
it is the misery of the contained…
it is the uncontrollable immobilization of the spirit.
illness, immobile, invalid, malady, misery, sickness, suffering, suffocation, uncontrolled, unwell
though i feel the points and juttings
as i toss and turn and knock about
my fingers still seek and sink into
the weighty dough
and though at times i peer at spindly
i beg the Fleischer
and promise soft to pay him dearly
and even sometimes i breathe in
and glimpse reedy
but there is no question
at noon’s call
how so very, very greedy
and though you tell me
to really see
and to see what you see
i see only me
i am more than enough
anxiety, body, bones, disorder, fear, flesh, guilt, ideal, illness, image, imagined, obsess, perspective, poem, poetry, reality, senses, shame, soul
is Normalcy just Numbness?
Only Pain can tell:
“Invisible yet instrumental in releasing sense obnoxious/Heart throbbing realized as it echoes through one’s stuffed head/Interest feigned only when ache tramples throughout the body”
How pill pleases those who are ill!
) (Never mind the effects that do not take a side
placed, wetted, diluted, mixed
pushed, forced, gagged,
sucked, sunk, drowned, disintegrated
To return one to the Norm,
undefined yet deified
when all that one can do
is pathetically yearn
for wholeness, trueness, fullness
of blissful Numbness…
Swimming colours interrupt solemnity
Pulsing sounds deter away from fruitful thought
Self pity wails away: “Oh woe is me!”
“If only I were well:”
and a thousand new oaths follow…
such copiously sanitary resolutions
such strenuously optimistic inclinations
… All in order to bargain for another day of being well
all is forgotten when one is well once more…
When one is one and Numb once more.
Ago, Pieces, Renewed
bargain, feelings, health, hope, illness, numb, numbness, pain, pity, sickness, symptoms, well being