caught

The look of disgust

dripped from your eyes

but i was trapped

and he was lost

my breath caught

my gasp too soon swallowed

shame shot through my senses

but i was held in place

and he stayed lost

 locked

in and out

more than enough

though i feel the points and juttings

as i toss and turn and knock about

my fingers still seek and sink into

the weighty dough

and though at times i peer at spindly

i beg the Fleischer

and promise soft to pay him dearly

and even sometimes i breathe in

and glimpse reedy

but there is no question

of how

at noon’s call

how needy

how so very, very greedy

it gets…

and though you tell me

to really see

and to see what you see

i see only me

and that

i am more than enough

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undone

absently picking at an invisible thread

running my fingers  along the tattooed  stitches

tracing patches too large to cover the ragged holes

the frayed at edges feel serrated sharp

and yet i thread my eyeless needle

hoping to sew it all better…

beheld

i saw her

nestled in cream

and frilly icing

i saw her

plain and overlooked

forgotten-ripe

i smelled the heady scent of possibility

i inhaled the dizzying fragrance of fantasy

i heard her piqued protests

her soft and thought-filled hmmms

her escalating laughter

her stifled tears

her silent sighs

only a welcome phone call away

only a night’s drive away

only an arm’s length away

yet never held

just beheld.