Found out…

I have been found out…

pathetic there i stand too defeated to even try to remember

how upright i stood.

How every one of your innocent encouragements were in vain

nothing was to match my ego

revelling in all its undeserved glory.

The extent of your pity stings me, needles me, rips me apart

how cruel that this pain is not rescuingly fatal

it stays so that i must endure your forced praise.

Every bit of expectation and attention

that which let me gloat

and simper in all smugness

now causes to wrench slowly the very heart that burst with pride.

Your eyes too deep they are

they see too much in me…

i cannot stand how they enter and see
yet fail to acknowledge

but acknowledged it stays
within the very wavering of your glance

The very silence that falls when you ask and i stay soundless

soundless so that you may hear the screams of humiliation that rack me within

as you continue to wipe away tears that i cannot touch

let its vain salt burn the very face that is unable to utter Truth.

imperfect angel

i’m watched over by an imperfect angel

what makes him human?
what makes him clay?

what makes him stay?

there are no wings
to be gained

there are no sins
to be shunned

there are no fallen
to be saved

what makes him stay?

i know
it is i
who stands in his way

and yet
i silently hope

for
another
day…

Careening toward Chaos…

star-crossed yet still careening
towards an inevitable case of chaos.
reasons swirl like galaxies,
the stars all glow a warning,
the planets threaten to collude
and yet here we are floating
light years away
yet somehow stuck in
a treacherously redolent orbit
drifting ever close to the abyss
that awaits with knowing