at times

i wish patience wasn’t a virtue

that want wasn’t so wanton at times

that love truly at times just frustrates and disappoints

that missing someone could make you want to say goodbye

if only to stop missing them so badly

and realize the very next moment

the reason you want to leave

is to escape the pain of being left

leading alone

i’m afraid of leaving

and leading alone

following that Freedom

that encompasses

everything that i want

but seems the

farthest away from my grasp.

Courage urges me on

and Fear remains elusive

Guidance comes and goes

yet the vast unknown

overshadows my faltering steps

as i stumble after Chance.

gathering

Dear one,

i forgo so much

to please you

but resentment grows

like a stubborn

unwieldy weed

 

each word you utter in just jest

and all that i must not take so seriously

they solemnly gather

in dark slashing lines

surrounding me

their meanings rise

like too long stifled truth

each begs for due consideration

for its time in allotted worry…

 

but there is only so much i can do

before i break

and escape this

soft and cunning

prison

of promises and pleas.