i wish patience wasn’t a virtue
that want wasn’t so wanton at times
that love truly at times just frustrates and disappoints
that missing someone could make you want to say goodbye
if only to stop missing them so badly
and realize the very next moment
the reason you want to leave
is to escape the pain of being left
i’m afraid of leaving
and leading alone
following that Freedom
that encompasses
everything that i want
but seems the
farthest away from my grasp.
Courage urges me on
and Fear remains elusive
Guidance comes and goes
yet the vast unknown
overshadows my faltering steps
as i stumble after Chance.
Dear one,
i forgo so much
to please you
but resentment grows
like a stubborn
unwieldy weed
each word you utter in just jest
and all that i must not take so seriously
they solemnly gather
in dark slashing lines
surrounding me
their meanings rise
like too long stifled truth
each begs for due consideration
for its time in allotted worry…
but there is only so much i can do
before i break
and escape this
soft and cunning
prison
of promises and pleas.
i’m ready to lose you
ready to leave and
even if you disagree
and we can be as we
always were before
i’m ready to go
because
now
i’m ready
to be free.
intotheindigo 