somewhere i follow steps
that i already know are to be made
i can only pause but still on i must go

somewhere in me
lies something still unbroken
yet that was too long ago
and too far have i thrown
that precious key away

somewhere speaks a mute voice
that once sent sweet rejoice
ever letting me believe
in what i seldom understand
is true yet trusted with a heart
too tender to realize
anything else.

i follow

to be lost

help me please.
i would like to be lost.

don’t let me leave
i just might want to be.

find me please.
i keep straying
just so you would.

live for me
i want to remember
dying again.

dream for me please
if i wake i am afraid
i will live.

speak my words for me
i do not want to say
what i want to.

continue with me.
if i lead
i will wish
to keep me
in you.

everloving i

Everloving I:
beg among the multitude,
but you are darkness-fair,
to give but kingly precious few…
an essence of alms
to sustain the pleader more.
 
In my wounded soul:
I have placed you piercing deep,
yet still you wander…
still my heart do reap.
 
I will breathe the very air:
that you will move to form,
the words of change.

And there I will:
part my lips,
to sigh…to seal
and cry with my soul
returned

to ask still why I will ever
yearn.

harmless

harmless aren’t i?
never a look away
never more than a few words to say
ever a smile thought not sad if certainly lost
ever a twinkle…moreso a reflection of every other spirit
surely i say too much
and not mean much
surely i say but one word
and mean simply everything with only my unmet glance
when you look upon me
do i not seem not here?
intangled within my own yearning-keening-dreamings and all other ings
too dark and painful to delve and keep
how very little harm they will do so at first…

blur and part

“the people blur and part”

and i await for the words to come

a frantic search

through many no longer sticky notes

bent and creased and come apart

with scribbles, waves and loops

half brackets, slashes and arrows

and lines wobbily crossed out

all tossed aside for that one

where all that has stuck

to memory

are “the people blur and part”

a thunderous sound

the platform trembles

a whoosh of stale and mechanical air

an impatient rush, quick shuffles and speakered din

all scattered now

and stuck between the tracks

is love..it is…

is love the enjoyment of the moment hoping that it never ends?

it is the yearning for a moment that will never come…

is love saying i love you and meaning it?

it is saying i love you silently, masking its meaning from fear of any one soul hearing it…

is love knowing you should say i love you more often?

it is not being able to say it at all…

is love remembering the sweet times spent together?

it is living in the minute moments that takes a bit of you each time.

is love feeling hatred at only the moment of anger?

it is living in hatred of not being loved…

is love leaving your loved one, loved?

it is leaving without ever telling them they are loved…

is love being beside your lover at all times?

it is the pain of staying alongside and yet so far away from realization…

is love for giving up for the sake of peace?

it is giving up love for everyone’s sake but yours…

is love wanting to touch and wanting to be touched?

it is when the touch of breath upon words is enough…

is love wanting to be together always?

it is hoping to be together but knowing it is never…

i let go…

i let go

why must you still not do so?

i let go with so much

what is it for you with nothing

to leave me be…

why is it i cannot close my eyes and be without you

but you have cut me off

and still bind me to your will.

as i stare searching reliving ever without release

you live and leave me

staring ever after you.

is this always to be?

i reach and fall

you need not reach

and have no way to fall.

you care not knowing i can not but care

yet i let it go

i let it all go

so to not let go

of

you…

it is real

it is real
it happens

yet there seems to be no place for it
when there are so many other tangible, physical, material things to be had.

there is no room for something that takes up no such space
do not search for it, it is not lost, just waiting to be found.

when word cannot define it but waits for the claim to label it
what need do we have of something that could be anything?

i cannot prove you have it,
i have to take your word for it
the same word that cannot define
what it is you and i cannot see
but what we feel…