touch upon a word

let me reach out
and touch upon a word…

a word that lets you share
that which i feel

But fails to tell

how it scars the soul

why should you not know how it feels?

bitter tears shared have a sweetness all of their own…

and however Love may be praised

it too grows jealous
of not being felt the same by all.

A Selection of the background score to the movie “Azaghi” by Ilayaraja

2012

Promise

Dear God

Promise in the next life

You will have more mercy on my heart…

You will not let it be so fragile

You will not let it enjoy so many facets of love

(For this only encourages it so)

You will let it know how one can love

my heart back

Truly, fully, unabashedly

As it does now…

That you must let me have at last

In my next life…

You will not let it give and give and give

Only to falter, implore and yearn

And yet

Somehow wish to seek once more…

Why does my heart hold out so much hope?

Why does it want what it may only get

in the next life?

************************************

A much appreciated response from asoulwalker, thought it should be read and not hidden in the comments.

A response by asoulwalker:

Dear God,
You know my hope is weak
You know my heart is feeble
Why do you give me so much freedom?
You know the world is cruel,
And my heart wants to love…
Please let it be heard.

– a soul walker

https://asoulswalk.wordpress.com/

Juxtaposition

I – at the table to the left

She watches him with mock puppy eyes as he eats, he looks at her with a knowing look… “You want some…eh?”

She half nods/half shrugs. Her eyes glint with coy mischief.

He sighs…the sweet burden of silly annoyances… He cups the rice and mixes it up in all the different curries and feeds her a mouthful. Smiling at her silly game…her unbridled joy…

II – just across the room

The Bride looks intently at her food. So interested in its colors, its textures, how it gleams, how much can be scooped up daintly on a spoon. How much can go in her mouth without smudging the fade proof lipstick.
She smiles plastic to herself.

The groom’s face is stormy and petulant. He sits turned away from her. Rigid. Unrelenting. His heaping plate awaits beside hers.

The photographer looks from bride to groom…groom to bride… He rubs his hair in fustration.

The second photog and videographer exchange brooding glances. Their eyebrows shoot up in sync…their mouths sardonic yet grim.

The photographer, chuckles hard… His voice strained/pitched:

“Heh, ha, ha… Ok…Let’s go now… Come on then” he prods.

He lets out an angry sigh into his shoulder pressing his face hard against his camera strap.

I need the damn shot of them feeding each other… They’ll ask for it later like it’s all my fault for not getting it.

Thank u for u being u

Thank u for being u
For when i didn’t think
You’d be there
For when I thought I
Don’t have anybody else
For when I thought I
Could do it on my own
And U agreed
For when i couldn’t figure myself out
U let me float away but U were always there to hold on tight
When I was overwhelmed by it all
For when U wanted me
But gave me the space and time
To want U back just as much
And more than ever since then
Thank U for listening when I
Thought U weren’t
Thank U for helping even
When I could have done it on my own
But it was so much better doing it together.
Thank U
May i never be ungrateful
For all U do
May i never be blind
To the love U ignite
And watch over
May we always set each other aflame
And glow brighter together.

Solace

Why is solace so 
singularly sad
yet uplifting 
in its hushed solitude?

is it not then
we hear the lilting
melodies of our hearts? 

Why is silence
sought out
when the wind
hushes
for no one

and whispers
no names but
those we keep
secret and close
to our heart of hearts?

How could it be more tender
in any other way?

Why would I want
a pain loved so truly
by solemness
shared in any other way?

hold on

hold my hand and bring it your lips

breathe your balm-like whispers between my fingers

lean in close

and bless my forehead with a kiss

brush away my leaky tears

and softly chuckle away my wayward gloomy doom worries

give me your strong shoulder

to lean my hard and often stubborn head

let me hear

your elusive laugh that bubbles up from nowhere 

or as often as i would like

i want to hold on tight

just to stop from reeling

just to touch miraculous you

as you rearrange my frizzy hair strands

making it more unkempt than it was before

but even so i can’t deny

how beautiful i feel in your smiling glow

at times

i wish patience wasn’t a virtue

that want wasn’t so wanton at times

that love truly at times just frustrates and disappoints

that missing someone could make you want to say goodbye

if only to stop missing them so badly

and realize the very next moment

the reason you want to leave

is to escape the pain of being left