when you are needed

I remember you only when I need you
with one moment cursing myself
the other moment begging for your reassurance
some comfort, some chance, some hope
pleading for it all to be alright
berating your creations
asking you to see the injustice
asking you to intervene
asking you to hear me out
and somehow…when things turn out right
forgetting you…shamefully renouncing you
and all that you have done for me
with silence.

you will want to

we never said leave.

we only asked when you would?

you are weak.

or so you say,

we know

the reason why

is solely ours:

but you know that.

you can always stay

though you don’t belong.

you can count on us

to help you go.

One day,

you will leave and

it will be,

it will be because

you want to.

we always want you

to want that

as well.

showtime

you.

 “yes…me” (pleading eyes) it’s showtime.

 what?

 “well I…” (eyes down, blush) slow down, more emotion

 yes?

 “I was helpless…I didn’t really know you for you until i went astray”

 do you really expect me to believe that?

 (nodding-nods) no.

 I thought…

 (meet eyes, peer within) check mate.

 No not again…I won’t be fooled

 “yes…i swear” (anguish, pitiful pleading anguish)
how dare he question?

 fine. what happened…happened

 (look down, stay still) quick wipe that smirk off

 so what now?

 “I….I need more time” (sigh) again, more defeated and sad (sigh)

 why do you need more time?

“hmmm….because.” (shut eyes. turn head. dismissed)

lies take time you know…

The line

i cut into a line
and pin it in grime
until it wriggles
into a squirmy wormy squiggle
i swirl it
i whirl it
and ream it
into coiled little
curlettes
i call it unfit
i drag it through grit
and meticulously
sink it in puddles of spit
i bleed it
i pleat it
i read it
i bead it…quite taut
and when it is nearly down to a speck of a dot
i take out my inky filled pot
and gently begin to feed it
because beyond all doubt
i simply
just simply
need it.