will i?

i feel the edge threatening to crumble off

asking what will i do when my feet touch air?

will i reach for land or will i leap?

i feel my being breaking apart inside

asking will i give up or harden?

will i reach up or will i fall down?

i feel my heart letting go

asking will i trust it again

or will i just let it rot and bloat?

will i let it soar again or pin it to its place?

chocolates

chocolates,
proffering a gesture of her single kindness

with an open heart
she gives away and taunts me still

this is all she has brought
she who has made my son smile
this is may be the happiest moment of his life
is the saddest realization of mine

i do not want them all laid in a row
when have i ever walked down such a perfect path?
they must be fingered and bit and tasted and tossed
and smashed as what all sweetness has been for me

i take one and another
and pry the very ones from his little curled fist
i take and take and relish the tears which he will cry
for the mother who could not give him the chance to smile

he cries out loud in disbelief
to have his gift wrenched away
when he has given and given and given
all that was never supposed to be taken from him

my child is too a chocolate
devoured hungrily by me
fearing that this one too like all the rest of mine
will be snatched and eaten by time and tragedy

while unsuspecting hands freely offer
sweets poisoned with false hope that last until
he again will cry for a mouthful from my empty hand

budding’s cry

journey to the innocence
of a budding’s tired cry
music to the ear
that softly forgets
what fate it has set forth
what death will take
because he has more heart
than that which moves to see
what pleasure more, stays now distracted

upon those who gaze
on all that is yet to be known
clouding what is known
and does not live
in our lives
if not named

Silenced Reason(s)

needling Silence stifles struggling Reason
Fury sees its chance to unfurl
Wrath sees its path cleared
Rage becomes reborn.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

is there ever
a day that goes by
that tears do not fall from the burdened eye?

A stony front
stubbornly tries
to seal its bleeding cracks.

no words are spoken without full thought, or so pretense vainly suggests.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

silenced reasons

mute yet struggling

astute yet mumbling

trying yet fumbling

to be heard.

Petits II

No other reason

then from the goodness of your heart

you act without needing to

and that is all that matters.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I hate to love you:
I am always yours,
I nor you are ever mine,
but as yours, as yours…as your only own…
I yearn…
for ours.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my lips are bruised

from too many bitten back words

the tears only make them burn.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you say you shouldn’t say

but you say it anyways

what height do you achieve

in bringing down what you held so high

trodding on what you notice

yet don’t.

tick-tock

time  gnaws

upon my mind

making the tick-tock

louder

it echoes and shudders

the cobwebs once more.

 

age

looms heavier in my bones

my wrinkles writhe and deepen

numbed and chill am i

yet life still riots throughout my body

in the disguise of pain

my mind wanders away

without ever saying when…

harmless

harmless aren’t i?
never a look away
never more than a few words to say
ever a smile thought not sad if certainly lost
ever a twinkle…moreso a reflection of every other spirit
surely i say too much
and not mean much
surely i say but one word
and mean simply everything with only my unmet glance
when you look upon me
do i not seem not here?
intangled within my own yearning-keening-dreamings and all other ings
too dark and painful to delve and keep
how very little harm they will do so at first…