I think of what should have been
Instead of what it is now
And realize what should have been
Never would have happened
anyways.
My path meandered and now it
finally moves forward,
With a map that no longer has false
markings.
I guess I’ll
draw them in as they appear…
whatever impends
its coming
when assumed
takes the tyranny out of its tirade
take it in stride
and what keeps you at bay
becomes shallow enough
to wallow through…
keep your fingers crossed
your heart open
your vision willing
your dreams real
@@@
keep your smile secret
your heart willing
your vision sure
your dreams strong
@@@
keep your eyes dry
your heart strong
your vision unblurred
your dreams from fleeting
@@@
keep your head up
your heart patched up
your vision realistic
your dreams as dreams
a manic’s playground is my mind
entrapped within a jungle gym of ludicrous joy
buried deep within the soiled sands of plunging sorrow
an unbalanced act atop the high top
the too quick and slick descent of my sanity upon the slide
the cloying sweet-rancid smell of the tire swing
as i hold tight
sickened-spinning-dizzy from deciphering what’s real what’s not
there is a yearnful parting
that never came to be
we search for it without notice
whether or not an illusion
never knowing if each met
will ever be the ONE
as understudys eager to be betrayed as us.
two strangers never encountered
convinced they will know:
innately, irrevocably
and as they contemplate thus
seemingly guaranteed in deed
each pass the other
remaining one less unknown.
though i feel the points and juttings
as i toss and turn and knock about
my fingers still seek and sink into
the weighty dough
and though at times i peer at spindly
i beg the Fleischer
and promise soft to pay him dearly
and even sometimes i breathe in
and glimpse reedy
but there is no question
of how
at noon’s call
how needy
how so very, very greedy
it gets…
and though you tell me
to really see
and to see what you see
i see only me
and that
i am more than enough
humanize me
so that i too can spend
my life worrying over
the pursuit green paper.
humanize me
so that i too can fight
battles over borders
not even visible in air.
humanize me
so that i too can know
fellows are only human
when they are not my enemy.
humanize me
so that i too can see
myself as another
who is just a better copy of me.
humanize me
so that i too shall know
of happiness pursued
but never attained…
what answer will suffice
when i encounter
the impossible?
another being
another reason
another feeling
another chance
will i realize
or will i deny
when awaiting has
only made me
persist on
all that will never occur.
intotheindigo 