LifE

Once there was an If

That wanted to meet a Then

But didn’t know when

And after many nots, no’s, and simply cant’s

If struggled to have anymore

Wait for Then

Because If and only If

Knew that Then

Would be how

If became within Life

But the more If

Encountered Else

If realised there’s still Life

Waiting for Then or not.

Searching

Society says I only have so much time

Biology sagely agrees

But Life

And Will

And Experience

They keep asking me to wait

For better.

And I?

I seesaw between hope and despair

I venture and retreat

I try and falter

And still try

I will do what i can

Until i can’t no more.

the past has passed

i know you search me with your eyes

and wonder why my love waxes and wanes

why i accept your love with a haunted wounded wavering

…the past has passed and the scars have all but healed…

…the past has passed and its lessons learned…

…the past has passed and all those who did not stay are not missed…

and yet i and my soul remain in the clutches of its grasp….

To

to envy the sorrows
that have comforts
*
to question the cares
of those who have
ones to save them
*
to search for a
smaller piece
of a gauzy dream
all glimmering with hope
one where joy
is still buoyant
and ignorant
of the troubles
that follow
***
to deny that a whimper
was heard where a
roar was thoroughly expected
*
to seek the words
that were heard in the heart
but were left unsaid
the air still silent
and stuck within
the breath
wishing to remain
inside
and end what all
it had started
***
and to forget what
hope there ever
was of returning
to that little
sad pit of denial

***

blur and part

“the people blur and part”

and i await for the words to come

a frantic search

through many no longer sticky notes

bent and creased and come apart

with scribbles, waves and loops

half brackets, slashes and arrows

and lines wobbily crossed out

all tossed aside for that one

where all that has stuck

to memory

are “the people blur and part”

a thunderous sound

the platform trembles

a whoosh of stale and mechanical air

an impatient rush, quick shuffles and speakered din

all scattered now

and stuck between the tracks