caesura

it’s repetitive yes

rhythmic and thrumming

undulatingly slow

or thumpingly fast

and muted

yes

but i dont seem to care anyhow

i can only convince you

of what you want to believe

life is a timed waltz

yet you’ll never know

when it

meets its defeat

that elusive beat

that keeps thudding on

one day for some reason or other

decides it’s out of tune

or too played out too

and never wants to hear its music again

leaving you in disharmony

or worse

silence.

Solace

Why is solace so 
singularly sad
yet uplifting 
in its hushed solitude?

is it not then
we hear the lilting
melodies of our hearts? 

Why is silence
sought out
when the wind
hushes
for no one

and whispers
no names but
those we keep
secret and close
to our heart of hearts?

How could it be more tender
in any other way?

Why would I want
a pain loved so truly
by solemness
shared in any other way?

tested

i sought prayer

and found relief

from the testing

that i unbeknownst

was asking for

the more i prayed

away my tears

the more i uttered heartfully

the more i found reason

to utter still more beseechingly

for the mercy that had not reached its time to be received

when you are needed

I remember you only when I need you
with one moment cursing myself
the other moment begging for your reassurance
some comfort, some chance, some hope
pleading for it all to be alright
berating your creations
asking you to see the injustice
asking you to intervene
asking you to hear me out
and somehow…when things turn out right
forgetting you…shamefully renouncing you
and all that you have done for me
with silence.

To

to envy the sorrows
that have comforts
*
to question the cares
of those who have
ones to save them
*
to search for a
smaller piece
of a gauzy dream
all glimmering with hope
one where joy
is still buoyant
and ignorant
of the troubles
that follow
***
to deny that a whimper
was heard where a
roar was thoroughly expected
*
to seek the words
that were heard in the heart
but were left unsaid
the air still silent
and stuck within
the breath
wishing to remain
inside
and end what all
it had started
***
and to forget what
hope there ever
was of returning
to that little
sad pit of denial

***