i have never

i have never

lay upon the roadside and cried for sleep
pleaded for water or whimpered for a meal
walked farther than far and still walked some more
bickered for space and frowned at innocent smiles

said words i did not believe
swore oaths i did not comprehend

felt pity drowning within myself
felt fright in sharing
guilt for still caring
accused innocent lives to continue with mine

i thought my nevers would last,but they betrayed me…

my never evers have become my now.

Who knows of the blind one’s dream?

I await
that heavy handed caress
the earth’s vengeful finesse.

the oblivion i embrace
majestic and all consuming
magnificent when beheld
magnanimous with its tremendous power…

let me have
that thirst to survive
that willful instinctive frenzy
that one last
valiant attempt to breathe…
and wanting to breathe.

the minute
fading
the bit by bit
wearing
tearing
only makes
the rented holes
larger
yet brings
you no way
nearer to its
edge…

it remains
yawning ever wider
but only gnaws and nibbles away…

remaining above all else:
guiltless.