Betwixt

Betwixt the troubles

That came in twos

Each desirable in different ways.

One no more desirable than the other.

Each with their own admirable complexities…

Each with their own questionable

perplexities…

One that gnaws and gnaws

Until a soft spot found.

The other nuzzles quickly

Without a sound.

Each perfect to themselves.

But which will my fickle, wounded heart choose?

Which will choose me in return as I am?

Lost & Finding

*I don’t know how this will work but I’m going to try…I would like to create a piece that prompted asoulwalker’s thoughtful and sage response.

“Lost & Finding”

There were days i wrote

Even then i curbed my words

Hid from their meaning

Scoffed at the emotion and fervour with which i wrote…

And i lost.

I lost myself

I lost my drive

I lost my joy

I lost.

And when I finally said i cannot do this anymore…

I chose me.

But choosing me meant

Forgiving myself when i felt betrayed

Comforting myself when i felt robbed

Picking up myself knowing i would stumble

Pieceing myself together… Knowing that there would be more pieces that would not fit, some broken, some lost, some taken or thrown away.

And when i ventured back to here

I realized I was there for me in words

Before I was ready

Before I needed it

Before I was strong enough to choose me.

And now I’m here…trying again… Not to seek the past, not to give into the urgency of the present…. Not to fear the future.

********************************
There is a space between things
Between the seeing and the feeling
Between the hearing and the feeling
Between the thinking and the feeling
There is a silence and a stillness
And in that space
We all move
We all are moved
We all are still
Every breath is held.

Let us face ourselves
That we might face each other
And may God show us the way of mercy

-asoulwalker

https://asoulswalk.wordpress.com/

caesura

it’s repetitive yes

rhythmic and thrumming

undulatingly slow

or thumpingly fast

and muted

yes

but i dont seem to care anyhow

i can only convince you

of what you want to believe

life is a timed waltz

yet you’ll never know

when it

meets its defeat

that elusive beat

that keeps thudding on

one day for some reason or other

decides it’s out of tune

or too played out too

and never wants to hear its music again

leaving you in disharmony

or worse

silence.

supposedly

supposedly

things get better

the very moment you give up

the very moment you out loud deny

that there’s even the slightest chance of seeing light

the very moment your heart says “no that’s it…no more.”

supposedly things get better

but until they do

all i can do is stare the hands down

as they tick away the time to supposedly: 

that unannounced moment when things will somehow magically become better

and i no longer will have to only suppose.

tested

i sought prayer

and found relief

from the testing

that i unbeknownst

was asking for

the more i prayed

away my tears

the more i uttered heartfully

the more i found reason

to utter still more beseechingly

for the mercy that had not reached its time to be received

Pendulum

pendulum
            to and fro
to and fro

along with the
beats of a heart
in throes
of wandering woe

pendulum
           to and fro
to and fro

tapping along
 a life’s time that
ticks by me
before my very eyes

pendulum
            to and fro
  to and fro

stopping quite still
to only mock with
with your dullish gold face
smirking away at my
misty-headed misery

May Time Gift Us

May Time gift us its Timelessness in Love

May the ardent awaken and share its want like it has been touched anew

May the wantings and yearnings become every so often rekindled

May the rosy tints adorn you lovingly however many shadows may loom

 May you at times replace maturity and its instilled propriety

for that irresistible rakish charm

May romance gather around leisurely

wreathing us once again with

that heady perfume of shared Happiness

May trials and troubles emerge as surmountable

As your hand still holds mine

As my heart still holds yours