A mastermind
Or genuine
I don’t know which
And
There will be little joy
In finding out
If I wrong?
If I’m finally right?
But that’s what trying again is like.
Tag Archives: time
Betwixt
Betwixt the troubles
That came in twos
Each desirable in different ways.
One no more desirable than the other.
Each with their own admirable complexities…
Each with their own questionable
perplexities…
One that gnaws and gnaws
Until a soft spot found.
The other nuzzles quickly
Without a sound.
Each perfect to themselves.
But which will my fickle, wounded heart choose?
Which will choose me in return as I am?
Lost & Finding
*I don’t know how this will work but I’m going to try…I would like to create a piece that prompted asoulwalker’s thoughtful and sage response.
“Lost & Finding”
There were days i wrote
Even then i curbed my words
Hid from their meaning
Scoffed at the emotion and fervour with which i wrote…
And i lost.
I lost myself
I lost my drive
I lost my joy
I lost.
And when I finally said i cannot do this anymore…
I chose me.
But choosing me meant
Forgiving myself when i felt betrayed
Comforting myself when i felt robbed
Picking up myself knowing i would stumble
Pieceing myself together… Knowing that there would be more pieces that would not fit, some broken, some lost, some taken or thrown away.
And when i ventured back to here
I realized I was there for me in words
Before I was ready
Before I needed it
Before I was strong enough to choose me.
And now I’m here…trying again… Not to seek the past, not to give into the urgency of the present…. Not to fear the future.
********************************
There is a space between things
Between the seeing and the feeling
Between the hearing and the feeling
Between the thinking and the feeling
There is a silence and a stillness
And in that space
We all move
We all are moved
We all are still
Every breath is held.
Let us face ourselves
That we might face each other
And may God show us the way of mercy
-asoulwalker
The mystery
For every wish that petulantly pouts upon my lips…
There is a blessing that soothes away the questioning
But the heart is ever young and ever ardent in its tantrums
And yet Time patiently guides
And shows in glimpses
The mystery
Of why things happened
The way they did.
caesura
it’s repetitive yes
rhythmic and thrumming
undulatingly slow
or thumpingly fast
and muted
yes
but i dont seem to care anyhow
i can only convince you
of what you want to believe
life is a timed waltz
yet you’ll never know
when it
meets its defeat
that elusive beat
that keeps thudding on
one day for some reason or other
decides it’s out of tune
or too played out too
and never wants to hear its music again
leaving you in disharmony
or worse
silence.
too blurred by
it’s happened
yet it seems all too blurred by
to commemorate
and though the elation caught
in snatches and relief-laden smiles
i feel again swept up
by the tide
its roiling cobalt crests
wait in kind to wash and strew
the shore of my weary laden mind
supposedly
supposedly
things get better
the very moment you give up
the very moment you out loud deny
that there’s even the slightest chance of seeing light
the very moment your heart says “no that’s it…no more.”
supposedly things get better
but until they do
all i can do is stare the hands down
as they tick away the time to supposedly:
that unannounced moment when things will somehow magically become better
and i no longer will have to only suppose.
tested
i sought prayer
and found relief
from the testing
that i unbeknownst
was asking for
the more i prayed
away my tears
the more i uttered heartfully
the more i found reason
to utter still more beseechingly
for the mercy that had not reached its time to be received
Pendulum
pendulum
to and fro
to and fro
along with the
beats of a heart
in throes
of wandering woe
pendulum
to and fro
to and fro
tapping along
a life’s time that
ticks by me
before my very eyes
pendulum
to and fro
to and fro
stopping quite still
to only mock with
with your dullish gold face
smirking away at my
misty-headed misery
May Time Gift Us
May Time gift us its Timelessness in Love
May the ardent awaken and share its want like it has been touched anew
May the wantings and yearnings become every so often rekindled
May the rosy tints adorn you lovingly however many shadows may loom
May you at times replace maturity and its instilled propriety
for that irresistible rakish charm
May romance gather around leisurely
wreathing us once again with
that heady perfume of shared Happiness
May trials and troubles emerge as surmountable
As your hand still holds mine
As my heart still holds yours
intotheindigo 