Pendulum

pendulum
            to and fro
to and fro

along with the
beats of a heart
in throes
of wandering woe

pendulum
           to and fro
to and fro

tapping along
 a life’s time that
ticks by me
before my very eyes

pendulum
            to and fro
  to and fro

stopping quite still
to only mock with
with your dullish gold face
smirking away at my
misty-headed misery

i’m stuck

i’m stuck
and don’t mind being so
i’m too afraid to move forward
and too afraid to stay behind
secretly i sigh that delays made, are out of my hands
but miserable that i will be left back.
the world’s most preciously deemed
i waste without outward regret
time and money galore
has gone and i bemoan the reason to need more
silently i must remain as in of me
meaninglessly dreading the decay
that seems only to point towards ruthless consequences
making my senses acute and numb and to sense no more
yet more aware am i of this urgent whisper of idle
as i am at the quickening and ever-knocking of my heart
and the foolish inability to do nothing more than to move forward
and remain tormentedly stuck…

what a waste

what a waste
disgrace embraced

touched the top
wary of the rock bottom
yet here i lie in limbo…
…slowly dying within

suffocation always reveals the coward in you
instead of giving in
you run full circle
back to the miserable beginning

contemplate release
relish in its reason

its                            space

its

     breeze

contemplate inaction
as you wade shamefully
through
defeated
fate

Hell awaits yet another of your stumbling blind journeys.