easier

is it easier or harder

to want what everyone else wants?

what we are smiled upon for wanting?

what we are supported and celebrated for wanting?

or is it harder to want what no one else thinks you should want?

what you will be lectured about, advised about, discouraged and guilted about?

is it easier to try your best to conform and worry how you fall short?

Or is it easier to strike your own path and bear the cold shoulders and disapproving glares?

this whispers, the dead silences, the piteous, the nervous and ingenuine smiles?

when does it become easier to do your thing?

when does it become easier to do what you want?

when does it become easier to achieve what seems to come so easy to others?

when does it become enough?

when does it become easier?

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tested

i sought prayer

and found relief

from the testing

that i unbeknownst

was asking for

the more i prayed

away my tears

the more i uttered heartfully

the more i found reason

to utter still more beseechingly

for the mercy that had not reached its time to be received

Pendulum

pendulum
            to and fro
to and fro

along with the
beats of a heart
in throes
of wandering woe

pendulum
           to and fro
to and fro

tapping along
 a life’s time that
ticks by me
before my very eyes

pendulum
            to and fro
  to and fro

stopping quite still
to only mock with
with your dullish gold face
smirking away at my
misty-headed misery

caught

The look of disgust

dripped from your eyes

but i was trapped

and he was lost

my breath caught

my gasp too soon swallowed

shame shot through my senses

but i was held in place

and he stayed lost

 locked

in and out

rareNtrance

i was like a scattered genius

 

wisdom overflowing

intellect profusely glowing

 

curtailed by my own fury

ever distant from knowing glory

 

savant than all compare but

the moments were scarce/rare

 

when they came

they came hard

to rival the sages

to rival the bards

 

yet all the sacred while

i remained:

entranced/entrapped…immobile.

 

Yearning is that much sweeter

when we cannot have
what we want

our desires
become
more mercurious

the mediocre
becomes
more miraculous

the impossible
becomes
more spurious

the winner
becomes
more victorious

it is what colours
our reality
with yen

displaces us
from zen

it is why
we keep
waiting
for
when…