touch upon a word

let me reach out
and touch upon a word…

a word that lets you share
that which i feel

But fails to tell

how it scars the soul

why should you not know how it feels?

bitter tears shared have a sweetness all of their own…

and however Love may be praised

it too grows jealous
of not being felt the same by all.

A Selection of the background score to the movie “Azaghi” by Ilayaraja

2012

unforgiven

i spoke the words

i knew would cut deep

and though she bared her teeth

to hide the hurt 

i saw her tired eyes dilate

and i knew i had wounded something

that she would lock away

and look at again 

and let it harden

herself somehow

so that when she cut

i would not find the heart to heal

my anger spent

and regrets blurted

two clammy hands blotting her tears away

she gives away no sign of forgiving

she only mouths the words

while her eyes cloud over

 

the past has passed

i know you search me with your eyes

and wonder why my love waxes and wanes

why i accept your love with a haunted wounded wavering

…the past has passed and the scars have all but healed…

…the past has passed and its lessons learned…

…the past has passed and all those who did not stay are not missed…

and yet i and my soul remain in the clutches of its grasp….

Found out…

I have been found out…

pathetic there i stand too defeated to even try to remember

how upright i stood.

How every one of your innocent encouragements were in vain

nothing was to match my ego

revelling in all its undeserved glory.

The extent of your pity stings me, needles me, rips me apart

how cruel that this pain is not rescuingly fatal

it stays so that i must endure your forced praise.

Every bit of expectation and attention

that which let me gloat

and simper in all smugness

now causes to wrench slowly the very heart that burst with pride.

Your eyes too deep they are

they see too much in me…

i cannot stand how they enter and see
yet fail to acknowledge

but acknowledged it stays
within the very wavering of your glance

The very silence that falls when you ask and i stay soundless

soundless so that you may hear the screams of humiliation that rack me within

as you continue to wipe away tears that i cannot touch

let its vain salt burn the very face that is unable to utter Truth.

touch upon a word

let me reach out
and touch upon a word…

a word that lets you share
that which i feel
and fail to tell
how it scars the soul

every shudder trembles
as that memorable wound is touched upon
once more….

why should you not know how it feels?

to hear the morning dew whisper
to feel the pulse of loving words
to see the heavenly sound of melodies

bitter tears shared have a sweetness of their own…

and however love may be praised it too grows jealous
of not being felt the same by all.

A Selection of the background score to the movie “Azaghi” by Ilayaraja