let me reach out
and touch upon a word…
a word that lets you share
that which i feel
But fails to tell
how it scars the soul
why should you not know how it feels?
bitter tears shared have a sweetness all of their own…
and however Love may be praised
it too grows jealous
of not being felt the same by all.
A Selection of the background score to the movie “Azaghi” by Ilayaraja
2012
i spoke the words
i knew would cut deep
and though she bared her teeth
to hide the hurt
i saw her tired eyes dilate
and i knew i had wounded something
that she would lock away
and look at again
and let it harden
herself somehow
so that when she cut
i would not find the heart to heal
my anger spent
and regrets blurted
two clammy hands blotting her tears away
she gives away no sign of forgiving
she only mouths the words
while her eyes cloud over
i know you search me with your eyes
and wonder why my love waxes and wanes
why i accept your love with a haunted wounded wavering
…
…the past has passed and the scars have all but healed…
…the past has passed and its lessons learned…
…the past has passed and all those who did not stay are not missed…
and yet i and my soul remain in the clutches of its grasp….
I have been found out…
pathetic there i stand too defeated to even try to remember
how upright i stood.
How every one of your innocent encouragements were in vain
nothing was to match my ego
revelling in all its undeserved glory.
The extent of your pity stings me, needles me, rips me apart
how cruel that this pain is not rescuingly fatal
it stays so that i must endure your forced praise.
Every bit of expectation and attention
that which let me gloat
and simper in all smugness
now causes to wrench slowly the very heart that burst with pride.
Your eyes too deep they are
they see too much in me…
i cannot stand how they enter and see
yet fail to acknowledge
but acknowledged it stays
within the very wavering of your glance
The very silence that falls when you ask and i stay soundless
soundless so that you may hear the screams of humiliation that rack me within
as you continue to wipe away tears that i cannot touch
let its vain salt burn the very face that is unable to utter Truth.
let me reach out
and touch upon a word…
a word that lets you share
that which i feel
and fail to tell
how it scars the soul
every shudder trembles
as that memorable wound is touched upon
once more….
why should you not know how it feels?
to hear the morning dew whisper
to feel the pulse of loving words
to see the heavenly sound of melodies
bitter tears shared have a sweetness of their own…
and however love may be praised it too grows jealous
of not being felt the same by all.
A Selection of the background score to the movie “Azaghi” by Ilayaraja
intotheindigo 