Truth once told me

Truth once told me
that Uncertainty
will one day kill me.

So off I set to find Un-C
yet upon meeting him
I could only blame Stress.

Stress addled and full of bile
haughtily stalked towards me
and after a few choice words
told me to go accuse Denial.

Denial of course was always near
I tried as much as I could to look him in the eye
but behind Denial stood Fear. 

will i?

i feel the edge threatening to crumble off

asking what will i do when my feet touch air?

will i reach for land or will i leap?

i feel my being breaking apart inside

asking will i give up or harden?

will i reach up or will i fall down?

i feel my heart letting go

asking will i trust it again

or will i just let it rot and bloat?

will i let it soar again or pin it to its place?

static

the journeys i await to take

to escape

in case of tragedy

lead me away from home

lead me away from the comfortable known

a spurning?  an ending? a new leaf turning?

monastic? ecstatic? or just another further contrived version of static?

all this waits upon a mishap that will leave me no more willing through its hap

but leaves me no closer to peace

that i seek

by awaiting an excuse to leave.

unwishing

if i dont want it too much

will it become within reach?

if i don’t hope it will come true

does it not have a better chance of becoming real?

if i always look for a way to survive

then cannot i not share it with another?

if i accept that i will never be happy

then surely i can hope that my few moments not to be snatched away?

odd leveler

why do i sigh (a little relieved)

when fear comes tumbling out of your mouth

your urgent words collide into each other

in their haste to express what i hardly have the courage to sum up

and therefore reply with silence

(and a deeply quiet marvel)

at how insecurity is such an odd leveler

an overlooked equaler

caught

The look of disgust

dripped from your eyes

but i was trapped

and he was lost

my breath caught

my gasp too soon swallowed

shame shot through my senses

but i was held in place

and he stayed lost

 locked

in and out