turn around and see

turn around now

and look at what you see

look at me

and tell me

you don’t like what you see

but don’t say that you can’t bring yourself to see

for all that you see is

whatever you have made of me.

spotted

i scrap away

at a tiny pale dot

the eye catches it quickly

in the sea of black and grey

encrusted and much shrunk

it’s sheen dulled

it’s surface marked

it nonetheless remains stubborn

my little spot of faded virtue

you will want to

we never said leave.

we only asked when you would?

you are weak.

or so you say,

we know

the reason why

is solely ours:

but you know that.

you can always stay

though you don’t belong.

you can count on us

to help you go.

One day,

you will leave and

it will be,

it will be because

you want to.

we always want you

to want that

as well.

cherried

Note: I wrote this years ago…I want to change it, but I don’t know what exactly I want to change, so I have left it as it is, and perhaps my muse will relent…

 

she sat clumsily against the grimy brick wall
staring straight ahead to avoid my sharp glance
her hair lay greasy and plastered to her face
dark and congealed like tarrish glue
lazily her hand lay open to catch the piercing needles from above
sighing i sat aside her
defiant to remain as wordless as she
to stay still as icyness wetted my clothes
even as the torrent of freezy drops
snaked down my goose-pimpled neck
she lay her head calmly upon numb shoulder
and slid heavily into sitter’s lap
upon her flustered face
stared two crimson-stained eyes
cheeks a blush
lips parted in scarlet
hued tears had lay upon eyelashes
and run rivulets upon her rosy-pale face
cherried were her hands
all sticky with sweet iron scent
she lay there refusing to utter a word more
almost but never….no never her…almost less a little of life
she lay in my drizzle laden arms
drenched in rain and red…

more than enough

though i feel the points and juttings

as i toss and turn and knock about

my fingers still seek and sink into

the weighty dough

and though at times i peer at spindly

i beg the Fleischer

and promise soft to pay him dearly

and even sometimes i breathe in

and glimpse reedy

but there is no question

of how

at noon’s call

how needy

how so very, very greedy

it gets…

and though you tell me

to really see

and to see what you see

i see only me

and that

i am more than enough

Found out…

I have been found out…

pathetic there i stand too defeated to even try to remember

how upright i stood.

How every one of your innocent encouragements were in vain

nothing was to match my ego

revelling in all its undeserved glory.

The extent of your pity stings me, needles me, rips me apart

how cruel that this pain is not rescuingly fatal

it stays so that i must endure your forced praise.

Every bit of expectation and attention

that which let me gloat

and simper in all smugness

now causes to wrench slowly the very heart that burst with pride.

Your eyes too deep they are

they see too much in me…

i cannot stand how they enter and see
yet fail to acknowledge

but acknowledged it stays
within the very wavering of your glance

The very silence that falls when you ask and i stay soundless

soundless so that you may hear the screams of humiliation that rack me within

as you continue to wipe away tears that i cannot touch

let its vain salt burn the very face that is unable to utter Truth.

pink

–leaves,berries,mud,sticks,pebbles,snails,bugs,pink

-what’s that?

-pink.

-let’s go look.

-no.

-ohh it’s a baby bird.

-oh no.

-see how it’s big purple veins, closed eyes, sticky skin, no feathers yet.

-hmmm.

-see how it’s bones stick out, its neck is bent, it must have fallen

-ewww. flies.

-you know you could…

-no.

-come on. it’s dead.

-no.

-it’s a secret.

-no.

-you’re saving it.

-no.

-it’s so small. it won’t matter.

-no.

-come on i’d do it….come on just hurry.

-no.

-i won’t be your friend!

-so?

-alright alright i’ll do it.

-no.

-fine then let’s just go!

-no.

-no?

-no.

-no.

crunch

Guilt is a serpent

guilt is a serpent which slithers
holding appled innocence in its fangs
as it moves deeper into the world
so does its venom
into fruity flesh

but ahhh how deception works
to only make this fruit more jubliant to the fazed eye

it is only after the gift already greedily enjoyed
that the slider’s trick and treat embitters…

forgets the tool its purpose
and spends its life in fruitless search…

spellbound and stuck fast
in syrupy venom

slickening all surroundings

so that snake may spy and spread silently still more